June

Bug.

Adult

It's kind of a shame that today has so many words to fill, because I really don't think I have much to say about turning 21.

:D?

One of the instant messaging world's biggest shortcomings is its oversight in not making an emoticon that matches the face in my Facebook picture .

Prang?

Some cats write "fjdsal;fd898" on people's laptops. My cat stands on the space bar, Alt, and the mouse pad.

cheezburger

Three people have sent me the same lolcat on Facebook. They've got me pegged.

Chill

Quick, someone tell the weather that it's May, and to please catch up.

Work

Quick, someone make my summer jobs actually be able to pay me.

Gefilte

I'm going to a bat mitzvah! I'm so Jewish!

Appreciation

Computer Science grade inflation is my friend.

Melanin

That was fun. I'm almost tanner.

Myrtle

First "Beach Week".

Tag

Day.

Epiphany

Recently I realized that "final paper" meant there was no final exam for one of my classes. That means more time before bombing my CompSci exam!

Mouse

I think one of my favorite high school moments was when Mr. Belvin sang, "Here I come to save the day!"

Deadlines

Fortunately for me, I have nothing due until Friday. Unfortunately for me, everything that is due is due on Friday.

Amen

It's said some people are
beautiful when they cry. That's
what the end of Britten's
War Requiem sounds like.

Deference

How can I be expected to put off work if no one else does, too?

Card

It's really fun when your bank changes your PIN without letting you know.

Trousers

Today's quote:

"The pants just fly off, Jay."
-the Eloquent Flint

Maturity

I'm in middle school and it's lots of fun.

Chill

Oh my goodness, weather. Seriously, warm up.

Formal

Me? Sorority date function?

Pity

Fool.

Emergency

If you ever feel the need for a fun adventure, get a friend to open her toe with a food processor blade at 2 in the morning on Friday night.

Gluttony

Eating a box of macaroni and cheese at an advanced hour is never, in retrospect, a particularly good idea. But I do so love macaroni and cheese.

*grunt*

Morning, n.:

That unhappy time between the realm of sleep and grudging acceptance of being awake; marked by deteriorated use of language, bad hair.

Weekend

It has been a long, bad week. I haven't seen this bad a week in a good while. I need a hug.

Digestion

I wish my internal bits would like the food I've eaten recently as much as the rest of me has.

Socks

The three most amazing spectacles in the human experience: birth, sex, and washing machines you can see into.

Unprepared

I am not ready to return to class and start learning again. Can I wait awhile?

State

I have never been to Florida before.

Pan

I want some Bimbo bread.

Pain

My teeth are sore.

Nomenclature

Grlenntys Kickingstallionsims!

Month?

Madness!

Hoops

Speaking of basketball... my high school's girl's team is undefeated so far this year. They won every game by at least seven points and two by at least seventy.

Sweat

Old white guys who play pickup basketball at the gym are entirely too serious about the whole thing.

They also play a bit too much shirts versus skins.

Detergent

There's nothing like having only novelty socks left to remind you that laundry day, in all its clothes-you-never-otherwise-wear glory, is upon you.

Hormel

I meant to fry some Spam for dinner tonight, but didn't foresee the lots and lots of dinky essays that I had to write.

Illness

Now that the appointment has been scheduled, the sore throat will disappear, leaving nothing to diagnose. This is the way of things.

...Continued

I kid you not: Google Maps recognizes a town northwest of Shreveport, Louisiana, down the road from Blanchard, Louisiana, called Latex.

Buttplug

The best part of my day was asking, straight faced, to borrow somebody's nonexistent sex toys.

The worst was C++.

Golden Rule

Posting fliers is one of my least favorite things to do. I show too much courtesy for preexisting fliers.

Roadtrip

I'm pretty sure that now I've been to more than half of the counties in North Carolina.

Safety

I like when Healthy Devils hand out "fun packs". I can't say no to fun.

Waffling

Family Circus, cuddly bastion of the religious Right, f**ks with you!

Tell your friends!

Bull-headed

You'd think, perhaps, that my sore throat would stop me yelling at refs.

Editorial

Shouldn't columnists do more than just complain about something? Tell The Chronicle.

Reification

Frats exist so that The Flash can run across Main Quad.

Maintenance

(Should hyphenated words count as one or multiple words? Opinions?)

Contemplate

Would the writers' strike boycott the Golden Raspberry Awards?

Fact

I don't own a pair of blue jeans.

Also

A fax machine called me this afternoon.

Polite

Go to Heck, Carolina, go to Heck.

Catharsis

What to write today?
...
Oops. Crap.

Horror

Cricket has started making sense.

Optometrist

My eyesight got worse!

Obviously

I'm thoroughly unproductive.

Mmmmmm

Rigatoni bolognese.

Brother

Fourteen!

Explanation

"Word" is a totally arbitrary
measurement of linguistic length, not
delineated by meaning, breaths, anything.
But today is the 31st,
so I'll use 31 words.
Tomorrow is my brother's birthday.
Hence: